I know I shouldn't let this stuff bother me the way it does, but it does, dammit. Marks & Spencer's new "Not just food, M&S food" ad campaign is just too peurile for words. I want to meet the marketing dudes that set this up. "I know, we'll try and make our products sound luxurious by overloading the product descriptions with meaningless adjectives." Then I'm going to hit them with hammers.

For example, on my smoked bacon and roasted chicken submarine I find "seasoned mayonnaise'. I'm intrigued, so I look at the ingredients. The mayonnaise, it seems, is seasoned with those expensive and exclusive seasonings, salt and pepper. Have you ever seen mayonnaise made without salt or pepper? Further down the list is paprika. Well, that's good, but paprika doesn't really taste of anything, and you only really want to use it to make things red. Guess how red the mayonnaise was? Exactly.

Oh, and apparently their chicken is "naturally fed". Can anyone, please, describe to me what exactly "naturally fed" means? How would one go about "unnaturally feeding" a chicken? Or does it mean that the feed is natural? I know that they feed cows on all kinds of crap, possibly even plastic (true!), but I don't think they'd want their consumers to think about that, even inadvertently by emphasising the alternative...


Moving on from that, I had a job interview today. "Just to let you know," they said, "our peak busy period is over the summer, so we expect you to work overtime, and also we don't allow any annual leave over June, July, or August."